A Proverbs 31 Girlfriend

I am by no means an expert on faith-based dating (for lack of a better term) -- in fact, I've only seriously dated one person since becoming a Christian. However, this topic heavily impacts nearly everyone's lives as we are surrounded by people who are single and looking to date, already dating, and married. In my Sunday School class and in conversation with my friends, the issue of dating comes up regularly, and it has been weighing on my heart recently. Therefore, I decided to dedicate this post to my sisters in Christ by writing them a letter. The following are my thoughts regarding the role for women in a relationship. I hope that my opinions cause you to pause for a moment and think deeply on the importance of being an encouraging girlfriend, whether you are in a relationship now or are single.

Dearest Sister,
You've probably been told this a million times before, but I'll remind you again -- a guy needs to be so in love with the Lord that you must seek Him to find him. The number one most important attribute of a potential boyfriend is a common love for God. This commonality is like rock, whereas a relationship built on physical attraction is akin to sand.

When you begin your relationship, there are certain roles that the two of you are to fulfill biblically; he, the leader, and you, the encourager. Proverbs 31 speaks of the women's role in a relationship. Verse 10 reads, "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings his good, not harm, all the days of her life." You must do whatever it takes to be supportive of your boyfriend's faith and help him to grow spiritually. You mustn't tempt him sexually or demand that he spend all of his time with you. Instead, act in a way that avoids temptation, encourage him to spend time alone with the Lord and in community with other believers, and engage him in spiritual conversations in which you push each other to grow stronger in your faith. By participating in the list of "don'ts," you are actually distracting him and causing his love for God to weaken, hence uprooting the core of your relationship which was built on your faith.

I understand that it is easy to fall into a pattern of wanting to spend all day, everyday together, and that sexual temptation is all too common nowadays, but remember that God is infinitely stronger than your greatest weaknesses and that although Christ died for your sins, we must aim to live in a way that brings glory to our Father in heaven.

Here is a prayer that may help you in times of struggle or may remind you to thank God for the relationship you have.

Lord, thank you so much for blessing me
With someone who loves You above all others,
I pray that you give me wisdom,
So that I can help my boyfriend to grow and mature spiritually,
In order for our relationship may strengthen,
Please remind me of the importance of respecting him,
So that he may in turn respect me,
Even when I am tempted, Father,
Remind me that You are here with me at all times, 
Continue to teach me Your ways.


I pray that You teach me to be selfless,
And put his spiritual needs before my selfish desires,
Help me to be an encourager in his life,
So that he may lead me in my faith,
Bless our time together and our conversations,
And help us to glorify Your name,
And never shame You with our thoughts and actions.


I pray that we be guided by the Holy Spirit,
And that our relationship can be inspirational to others,
That they may look to our connection,
And long to understand why our actions differ from those of the world,
Lord, You are good all the time,
And I am so grateful for the relationship which You help to grow,
Thank You for all You do in my life.

Dating is a topic I love to talk to people about. Many of the conversations I've engaged in recently about dating have been very encouraging and inspiring, yet some have been very concerning. I love talking to people about their thoughts regarding the posts, so please let me know if you ever want to talk about anything going on in your life, or if I can pray for you or someone else you know who is struggling.

In Jesus' name,
Ailee

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."
Proverbs 31:30