Sunday, August 22, 2010

Walking or Sinking

Champagne makes you feel like it's Sunday and better days are just around the corner." I read this quote by Marlene Dietrich yesterday, and it made me happy, not only because I love champagne but also at the possibility of making every day Sunday. The Sabbath is truly my favorite day of the week, and today has been simply wonderful. I decided to focus on the issue of trusting God in my personal Bible time this week, as this is one aspect of my faith that I struggle with often, given my tendency to be a little bit (ha!) of a control freak. A few months ago, I even painted a canvas (above) with a verse from the book of Psalms to remind myself that my future is in God's hands, not my own.


The topic of trusting God has many different components, but this post will focus on the following four aspects: trusting that God answers prayers no matter how big the request may be, how God reminds us to trust Him, remaining faithful in times of joy and hardship, and the ways in which we exhibit our lack of trust. 


The power of prayer: what a beautiful place to start :) I am just finishing off  book 3  of The Yada Yada Prayer Group book series by Christian author Neta Jackson, and throughout the novels, I have been constantly reminded that my prayer life lacks a certain rigor and fervency that I see in these (yes, fictional) women. When the Yada Yada Prayer Group are faced with a range of severe challenges, the first thing these strong ladies do is turn to the Lord and ask for His help. Although I am an avid prayer, I have a tendency to think and worry about the situation before remembering that I can always turn to God. In a sermon at the Austin Stone on June 6, 2010, guest pastor Halim Suh said, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we can't see." Halim's definition of faith is spot on - we are fully trusting the Lord when we are confident that our prayers will be answered. Holding back and forgetting to give my burden to God in prayer is a sign that sometimes I forget that God is capable of all things. Ayiesha Wood sings a very powerful song called "Big Enough," that touches on the power of God: "You turned water into wine - how extraordinary, gave sight to the blind - and still I carry my own load when you told me, To take Your yoke ‘cause Yours is easy. And even though my issues seem trivial, You alone are never too imperial, it's just the way that You love me, it's enough to convince me. And I don't wanna box You in, You've been doing big things since the world began, Sometimes I just don't wanna believe, That You're big enough - but You're big enough yeah." He truly is big enough, and I think that we sometimes need to be reminded that He has, indeed, "been doing big things since the world began."


In addition to having confidence in God through our prayers, God's desire for us to trust Him is so strong that He sanctioned one day of every week to be the Sabbath, when we are to rest and be rejuvenated spiritually (Genesis 2:1-3). In Deuteronomy 5:12-15, another purpose for the Sabbath is laid out. "Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you... Remember that you were once slaves in Egypt, but the Lord your God brought you out with His strong hand and powerful arm. That is why the Lord your God has commanded you to rest on the Sabbath day." So, the Bible is saying that on this day of rest, we are to be reminded that if victory or success comes into our life, it is because of God, and God alone. The Israelites being lead out of Egypt and into the Promised Land was not because of their own ability, but instead an act of God's "strong hand and powerful arm." In an Austin Stone sermon from November 8, 2009, Pastor Matt Carter talks about how he is able to relax on his Sabbath day by reading the Bible and spending time with the Lord, yet he was experiencing trouble giving up the desire to plan ahead for the following week's service. This drive for future preparation is, in essence, like saying to God, "I don't trust you." I often have struggled with the same issue as Matt; however, because we know that God has "plans to prosper [us] and not to harm [us], plans to give [us] hope and a future," our trust in the Lord should be strong enough for us to fully let go on the Sabbath and to sit in awe at His bigness (Jeremiah 29:11). When we hope for great things, the Bible says that we can be "confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God" (2 Corinthians 3:4-5). 


The following statement may just be my opinion, but I find trusting in God far easier to do when life is going smoothly as opposed to when I am faced with trials and tribulations. Luckily, I have not had to deal with anything too grave in my life, with the exception of the year in which I lost three grandparents. Nevertheless, the story of Jesus walking on water in Matthew chapter 14 is something I think about often. The disciples were in a boat when strong winds began to rise and they were facing heavy waves. In the middle of the storm, the disciples see Jesus walking toward them on water, and although they cry out, "It's a ghost," Jesus tells them not to be afraid. He says to them, "The 'I Am' is here." Then Peter calls out to Jesus, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water," to which Jesus complied. As Peter steps off the boat, he begins to walk on the water, until he suddenly feels the strong wind and sees the massive waves. Feeling terrified, Peter instantly begins to sink, yelling, "Save me, Lord!" In verse 31, the Bible says that "Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 'You have so little faith...Why did you doubt me?" This story makes me question what I would do in the same situation. I would absolutely love to say that I would look at the storm and know without a sliver of a doubt that I trusted Jesus, but I am not sure that I wouldn't react more like Peter and feel scared. When the wind and waves were not obvious to Peter, he trusted in God, but when he saw the treacherous weather, his trust wavered. When faced with trials in life, the Bible says that we should not only maintain our trust in the Lord, but that we should also "consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow" (James 1:2-3). Isn't that marvelous? I love trying to reframe negatives and make them into positives, and I feel this verse from James reminds us to do just that.


Lastly, it is important to consider how we, as Christ followers, exhibit a lack of trust in our daily lives. In Francis Chan's book titled Crazy Love, Chan says that by worrying and stressing, we "communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in [our] life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small indeed. Why are we so quick to forget God?" In addition, Chan adds that "worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what is happening in our lives" (Chapter 2, pg. 41-42). Is that not the truth?! I read this paragraph, reread it, and read it again. I worry far too much, and I know that instead of stressing over something I am not in control of, I should do as Philippians 4:6 tells me, and "...not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done." This ties back perfectly to the first application, trusting that God answers our prayers. 


I genuinely hope that the issues and verses in this post are applicable to others' lives in addition to mine. I pray that our trust in the Lord's 'bigness' continues to grow stronger, that our prayers become more powerful, that we remember our future is in God's hands, that we will be able to trust in God in both good times and bad, and that instead of worrying and stressing, that we find peace in knowing that "in the context of God's strength, our problems are small indeed."


I love worship music :) So I thought I'd share my recommendation for this week. Chris Tomlin and Christy Nockels: "Our God Reigns" (starts at 4:31)


In His name,
Ailee


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." 
Proverbs 3:5-6

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Reverent Intimacy

Well, I did it: I faced the fact that I'm no longer in Austin and therefore, unable to attend the Austin Stone. Instead, I went to Kingsland Baptist and arrived with a big smile on my face and the Holy Spirit alive within me (Ezekiel 36:27, "And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees..."). I felt joyful to be back at the church where I was baptized four years ago. The message was very moving, as Pastor Alex's always are, and although the worship was a complete 180 degree change from that of the Austin Stone, it was still good. What a nice reminder from the Lord that change is not always bad (or perhaps it rarely is). 


The sermon was on the book of Proverbs in its entirety. The purpose of Proverbs is to teach people how to be understanding, just and fair in everything that they do. Proverbs 1:2 tells us that "Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise." The poems, parables, questions, couplets, etc. in this book are very much relationship-driven and speak of Biblical wisdom, which does not mean intellect, but instead is about revelation and response. Nowadays, people tend to measure knowledge and wisdom by using IQ tests, SAT scores, or GPAs. However, the Bible clearly says that the "Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" (Proverbs 1:7). I don't want to go so far as to say the concept of fearing God is foreign today, but it is not something that many pastors are preaching about in 2010. Fearing God seems to have a negative connotation, but I believe it to be quite the opposite.


By my nature, I have an easier time accepting God more in the terms of the Old Testament than of the New, which details Him sending His one and only Son to die for our sins so that we can be saved. However, it is essential that we understand our God as He is described in the Bible. In the Hebrew version of the Bible, there are two names used to describe God, one of which is Elohim and the other being Yahweh. 'Elohim' is used in the Bible by Moses and means 'might' and 'power.' In Genesis Chapter 2, God is referred to as 'Yahweh.' Yahweh is not a generic name, it is a personal, intimate name (For more on this subject, listen to Austin Stone's podcast from 11/22/09 called "The Bigness and Nearness of God" -- I highly recommend it). God is loving, kind, and forgiving, but He is also the Ruler of the world and demands that we fear Him. In 1 Peter 2:16-17, Peter writes, "For you are free, yet you are God's slaves, so don't use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. Fear God, and respect the king." The Bible also describes God as loving and forgiving in the book Numbers: "The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion" (Numbers 14:18). 


Personally, I think that the diminishing fear of God in the world is a major cause for many of the problems in the church and with Christianity. Have we forgotten that our God once sent a great flood to the earth because of human violence and corruption (Genesis 6:9-13)? Don't get me wrong, our God is a God of all things, meaning that He is also a God of indescribable love. I am so thankful that I can ask Him for forgiveness when I make mistakes. At the same time, I understand that in my fearing the Lord, I gain wisdom and knowledge, and I am also thankful for this truth.


This brings us to the next question: What does it look like to fear God? I've been thinking about this on a personal level, and I think it means different things to every unique individual. However, I believe that what it means to everyone is that we must be genuine in our asking for forgiveness when we sin, and we must repent when we fall short of the glory of God. It is also very important to understand God does accept our repentance and we must praise Him for this fact and not linger too long on our guilt. I have been reading Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love," in which he says we must love God with a "reverent intimacy," that is, to love and fear Him.


Lastly, Pastor Alex made a joke during the sermon that every week, churches across the world should be celebrating in "awe-full" worship. And let's be honest, he is so right. Fortunately (or maybe it's more unfortunate), I am able to sing both awfully and awe-fully. How else to describe the God I just detailed in the text above than to use the phrase "awe inspiring"? Like in last week's post, another worship song that has come to mind while writing. In fact, it keeps playing over and over again in my head, and quite frankly, I love it. I first listened to "Our God is an Awesome God" by Kirk Franklin when I went to Pine Cove Christian Camp many, many years ago. It's very... reggae? Anyways, the lyrics are wonderful and it makes me want to dance :)


Click to Listen to "Our God is an Awesome God"


My prayer is that more Christians will begin to love God with a reverent intimacy, that we can fear Him and love Him, and that in our worship, we will appreciate the awesome-ness of the Lord.


In His precious and holy name,
Ailee



Sunday, August 8, 2010

Following the Message, Not the Messenger

It's been just over a month since I moved out of Austin, and my heart has been longing to be back in Austin High School worshiping at the Austin Stone. I have truly been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I need to get settled back into church-life in Houston. During the past three years at the Stone I have really grown spiritually, and so I have many positive associations with my time at this church. The worship, the pastor, the church body, the spiritual atmosphere -- everything about the Austin Stone is incredibly moving. At the same time, I have always known in my heart that I am not supposed to be in love with this particular church, for it says in the Bible that our heart's affection is to be to God, for whom the church was created.


After mulling over this issue for some time,  I decided to listen to a sermon I knew would help ground myself in the word of God and to help remind me who it is I am truly in love with (of course, the podcast is from the Austin Stone, but that is besides the point!). On January 12, 2008, Matt Carter preached a message titled "Following the Message, Not the Messenger," during which he discusses the problem with the church in Corinth. In 1 Corinthians 1:12, Paul, the author of this book of the Bible, said, "Some of you are saying, 'I am a follower of Paul.' Others are saying, 'I  follow Apollos,' or 'I follow Paul.'" Paul's reaction to these churchgoers is evident in his response in verse 13: "Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not!" Followers of Christ should not also call themselves followers of certain church leaders, although we are to honor our church elders. By saying that "I follow Paul" or "I follow Matt Carter," we are in essence dismissing our faith in Jesus, as He is the only One who is worthy of our worship and praise and in whom Christians should have an unmovable faith. Matt does point out that the Bible says we must respect the elders of the church, but we must never submit to them to the point that the submission brings division to the church of Jesus Christ.


"Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit." - Hebrews 13:17


Another application of the verse from 1 Corinthians is the importance of recognizing that religious preaching and messages come from God Himself, and therefore, we should celebrate His word alone and not idolize the various messengers around the world who speak His word. In the sermon, Matt discusses various examples of people idolizing Christian leaders, both dead and alive, and how when we make it to Heaven, all humans will be on their knees, side by side, praising Jesus Christ, and how in that moment, it will not matter which of us wrote bestselling Christian novels or sang chart topping Christian hits.


This is an important issue to think about, as I believe it is easy for us to look to people on earth whom God uses to spread the Gospel and to think that these individuals are higher and more worthy of God's praise than the rest of us. For example, when David was a young boy and defeated the giant Goliath, the Israelites spoke of David's triumph and sung his praises instead of being in awe of the power of God. The Bible clearly says, "So the Lord saved Israel that day" (1 Samuel 14:23), and so the Israelites should have been celebrating God's presence in the battle. I understand this struggle, as there are definitely people in my life who have helped me grow stronger in my faith, and sometimes I feel inclined to give them more credit than is due. Of course, I still need to continue to honor and respect these "messengers," but I must always remember that God moved them to move me.


Lastly, the sermon really ties into my struggle to accept the fact that I will no longer be able to attend the Austin Stone every Sunday. The message was an excellent reminder that God is the same God all across the world. Although Matt Carter may not be always be the messenger, pastors in Houston are preaching about the very same God. I will keep praying for this to resonate in my soul and that I, and other Stone "graduates," will be able to find a new church home that moves them like the Austin Stone does.


As I was writing this post, "Praise the Father, Praise the Son" came to mind, which seems fitting, given that Chris Tomlin was the worship leader at the Stone for my first year of attendance. "Oh praise the Father, praise the Son, praise the Spirit, three in one. Clothed in power and in grace, the name above all other names."


Click to listen to Praise the Father, Praise the Son :)


In His name,
Ailee